my little secret.

sometimes i just sit and wonder, wonder if you have any remorse, any regret, feel any pain. i wonder if you are thinking about me, thinking if you even want to know me. my heart was broken for a long time over the thought that you didn't care about all the hurt you caused. you just blamed everyone else for your mistakes. i guess people don't think before they reproduce. they just act, without any concern of the concesequences of having a child. some neglect the idea that a child is forever, not for just how long you decide to care for it. the hurt that you have caused in my life will never go away, and no one can understand how deep that hurt lies. the thought of you immediately brings tears to my eyes. it erases all my happiness. i wonder if that will ever stop. i wonder how that pain that has been encased within my soul will continue to effect me everyday. i guess we are all neglected, it's just truly hard when that neglect is from a father.