birthday.

it's days that matter the most that are the biggest disappointments. i have big expectations, i'm a big dreamer, and set myself up to always expect the worst. tomorrow is my birthday. i dislike my birthday. it brings back awful memories of being tormented and ridiculed because the attention would be on me for one day. i never enjoyed. my mother is the only person i ever remember trying on my birthday. she would do everything in her power to try to make me happy and get the perfect gifts. for once, i would really like to have the day about me. i'm not selfish, i've just never had that. my friends look for the most perfect birthday dress, plan the most perfect parties, celebrate three or more times, and i've just never had that. so every year, at this time i set myself up for disappointment. maybe one year i'll learn that there is no point in hoping. i'm just going to get hurt anyways.