good life.

if i never met you, i would have never got through any of it.

soulmate.

I’m a hopeless romantic, hoping that one day I will be completely swept off of my feet. It takes years to be able to find that true love. As Elizabeth Gilbert stated, there is no such thing as one soulmate, instead we have many, each to bring about another layer of our skin and show us a deeper purpose of love and ourselves. Gilbert however, misses the point of the soulmate. She underestimates the power of love. She underestimates the beauty of fate. Not everyone believes in fate, but to me fate is my religion. Love, everyone you meet, says my mentor, as her life has taught her the endless power of love, and the true understandings of spiritual love. Although Gilbert is correct in displaying the purpose of the soulmate, she is incorrect that they leave your life. For every soulmate revealed to me, they continue to linger in my heart. Their lesson and love to me is never replaced. Although I don’t see them every day, or perhaps ever again, their love and support is always there. We as a species are so consumed with the physicality of love, forgetting about the power of spiritual love. Love doesn’t die, and it is always forgiven. For those soulmates that touched my heart, who have revealed a part of me I didn’t know existed, they will always lay with me, deep in my core. I’m extremely excited to continue to meet my soulmates that continue to be revealed to me until I meet the one, the one that will be there forever. The one that will support me in the way no one else can. Through the faith of love, I have hope, hope that my corny romantic heart will find what we are all searching for.

to you.

i'm starting to let you in and i'm scared.
i know i have to let my guard down, but it's hard.
by doing that, it changes everything.

friends.

Perhaps i am a bit strange, but all i ever want to do is hang out with my friends.
I blow of dates, and relationships because i know they will take away too much time from being with my friends. The satisfaction I feel from belonging to a group of girls that know me better than I perhaps know myself is quite scary, yet fulfilling. Maybe this feeling stems from the horrid memories of my late teenager years when my life consisted around my boyfriend. Whatever the reason is, my friends have become my life. I know they will never disappear, or forget about me, and will be there at the end of dates and relationships. But still, there is nothing i'd rather do on a Friday night more than sit around someones room reminiscing about the previous weekend. Maybe i'm still immature, or just scared of having my heart broken again so I stick to the safe side. But I don't think that's the answer. I think sometimes when you feel so comfortable to be your weird self, you don't care about being with anyone else. You are so happy to be with the ones who accept you for who are, who don't care if you are grumpy one night, a bitch for having a bad day, a debbie downer, a negative nancy, or just simply sad. My mood instantly changes when I see my friends. As odd as we are, I love us.

quiet in my town.

today is quiet in my town.

today is about reflection. judgement passes and there is silence.
2 men passed. grief, distress, distraught. they left this earth with no mark.

today is the day. time to reflect, time to forgive.
time to move on, and time to forget.

upon the unfolding layers, we are all found.
deep down, we are all hoping for that peace.

today is quiet in my town.
today is too quiet in my town.

bring back the sun.

2 weeks ago. i was amazed.

honey.

you give me this hummingbird heartbeat.

pain

Death is not supposed to be scary. It's so supposed to cure all pain. How can that be true if when you die you miss people. Missing people and experiences is the most painful thing I have ever felt.

eng.

sometimes i cry because i miss waking up to this every morning.

england, you stole my heart.

bland

we are nothing alike. only one thing in common.
that thing can't take us far.

it's just fun, hope we both remember that in the end.
sometimes i question what my border is? how far will i push to be everything that is not me?

tragedy.

today i changed my mind.
i dont want to be me anymore.

i dont want to be this manifestation that i have created.
nothing feels right.
i feel like i've only created a product of you.

maybe i dont identify like this anymore.
why does everyone else get to know?
it's unfair, isn't it?

headspin.

there is just something about you, i can't put my finger on it yet, but it kind of makes my heart flutter.

over and gone.

ask me again the same question. you have only been asking it for 11 months now. maybe it will sink in this time. oh, but we broke up a year ago. but that's okay, apparently i'm leagally tied to answer every question you ask me. in what century do you live in?

and then lies. apparently i lie all the time. really? hmmmm.....should we think about lies. MANIPULATION. over and over and over agin? it will never end.

but ask me again why i don't want to see you.....perhaps it could be the CONTROL you have. the guilt trips. it's always about the things i OWE YOU. how FAIR i have to be.

well here is to FAIRNESS. how about you resepct something i have asked you for the past year....how about you wrap your little head around that idea that you can't tell me what to do. that you have to let me go.

maybe i should remind you this for the very last time,
"love is allowing the freedom of one to CHANGE". not tying them up and making them play by your rules.

goodbye to my push over self. the last leg just broke.

miss you.

when you miss someone send them love and good life and drop it.

don't hold on. it doesn't do anyone well.

to you, sort of.

You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,

reminder.

don't ever forget the ones that were there when the others ones weren't.

precious time.

we're all just waiting. counting down the hours, minutes, and seconds for a certain time. and when a special moment happens, a moment that usually only lasts 3 seconds, we never forget it. we hold it so close to our hearts forever, replaying those 3 seconds in our minds over and over again. And then we wait, wait until the time when those 3 seconds may happen again, hoping that those 3 seconds turn into 5.

we count down the years, months, and days until that moment can occur again, counting down time, but claiming there is never enough time.

most of our time is just spent waiting, waiting for a moment we have waited for for what seems like an eternity.

it's not about you.

wounds

What’s worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should’ve healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we’ve been and what we’ve overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That’s what we like to think. But that’s not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again.

friendship

thank you for being you.

i've just seen a face i like.

theresalwaystheonethatchangesyourheartforever.iloveyoukay.